What’s Driving Your Self-Leadership?

Breah is admired for being strong, compassionate, and determined. She knows what she wants and takes charge of her life to reach her goals. But sometimes, her determination tips into stubbornness. She focuses so much on helping others that she forgets about herself. And never even considered what’s driving her self-leadership.

Most evenings, Breah spends her time caring for family and friends. She’s always there—offering support, lending a hand, or just being a shoulder to lean on. But this constant giving is draining her energy. She doesn’t realize how much it’s affecting her. Breah grew up in a family of women who quietly carried heavy burdens without complaint, always putting others first. It’s what she knows.

Stuck on the Hamster Wheel

Life hasn’t been easy for Breah lately. It’s been one challenge after another. She’s constantly moving, solving problems, and pushing through without stopping to think about how it’s all affecting her. Day by day, her energy fades because she doesn’t take time to recharge. She’s so focused on getting things done that her own needs fall to the bottom of the list.

Her partner, Will, has noticed. He’s worried. When he mentions it, though, Breah snaps back. She’s tired, defensive, and overwhelmed. She accuses him of not understanding. Deep down, she knows he’s right, but it’s hard to admit when you’ve reached your limit.

Breah’s story is familiar to many of us. We push ourselves to keep going, even when we’re exhausted. We ignore the signals from the people who care about us and keep piling on more. But at what cost? What’s really driving your self-leadership?

Time for a Reality Check

What’s driving you? Is it passion and enthusiasm—or just the need to push through? Are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations, or are you living by your own standards? And if you come from a family of givers, could that be influencing the way you live?

It might be time to pause and think about what’s really fueling your self-leadership.

Time to Recharge

Breah—and maybe you—needs to recharge. But first, she has to figure out how. Think of it like choosing a charger for your phone. You need the right connector, the right voltage, and something that actually fits. A charger for an old phone won’t work with the newest model. And using the wrong voltage could slow things down—or worse, cause damage.

We’re the same. What worked for us a few years ago might not work anymore. Life changes, and we need to adjust. Some people recharge with exercise, while others need quiet time. A spa day might sound great to one person and exhausting to another. The key is finding what works for you.

Managing Your Energy

Take a moment to ask yourself:

• What’s really driving me? Stubbornness? Passion? Perfectionism?
• Am I using someone else’s “charger” to try and recharge? Am I living by my own values or someone else’s?
• What would happen if I let go of some of the pressure I put on myself?
• How can I stop draining my energy and start protecting it?

Your power source is unique. To lead yourself well, you need to manage your energy, choose the right ways to recharge, and recognize when it’s time to rest. By taking care of yourself, you can show up stronger for everything else in your life.